A Day at the OK, Installment II

June 20, 2011 at 10:31 pm (A Day at the OK, Food, Library Subculture)
Tags: , ,

Petey R refuses to eat vegetables.  I am always looking for ways to sneak them into him.  I don’t mean in ways like the cruel tricks I play on “Kath”, but clever and delicious ways like making cauliflower mash that looks and tastes like mashed potatoes (but certainly doesn’t smell like them).  This William Sonoma cookbook gives four ways each to make classic dishes.  I don’t remember the other two but this fanned tomato is a way to make Capresian salad.  A Caprese kabob was the other I remember (which I don’t think would work well).

It was so delicious I was strongly tempted to lick the plate.  I took this one in for Petey R at the library last Sunday because I know he likes “‘maters” as he calls them.  (Every time he says ” ‘mater” I insist on saying “tomahto”.)

“Will you eat a leaf of basil?” I asked.  He said he would.  If he had said “no” I would have told him to give it to someone else.  Caprese Salad without fresh basil is just a ‘mater with cheese.  You should know ahead of time that this salad is tomato-dependent.  Get the best tomatoes you can.

3 Comments

A Day at the OK, Installment I

June 16, 2011 at 10:14 pm (A Day at the OK, Library Subculture)
Tags: , ,

A library syllogism from The OK: “Kath” drinks Coke Zero.  I drink iced coffee.  Therefore, Cat will live longer than “Kath”.

Sometimes I sabotage “Kath’s” Coke to teach her a lesson.  I wrote “Demon Juice” on the bottle one time.  She wrote “I ❤…” as a preface.  I poured salt into it when she was not looking.  She drank it anyway and wrote “I ❤ Demon Juice with salt”.  Honestly, often when I rebuke her I just think of how refreshing it would be to drink a Coke Zero.  Though I don’t think I will do it again soon.  I reacted badly last time; I react badly to poison.

I put our drinks together with this sign:

A note: this silver platter is that on which I had earlier placed a piece of gum for “Kath” who had declared me a liar; she could not find the gum I told her was in my top desk drawer.  She is either very hard-of-seeing or was upside-down.

When she saw the above she said “Eww!” (her catchphrase) because my drink had invaded her personal space.  She replaced her vial of poison with this:

You can see my coffee looks slightly despondent.

Leave a Comment

Cat Tries to “Connect” Instantly with Everyone

June 13, 2011 at 10:24 pm (Me Outdoors, My Jesus Life, Sailing)
Tags: , , , ,

I picked up our copy of “How to Connect Instantly with Everyone”.  I mentioned it to “Kath” and, disgusted, she asked, “Why would you want to?”  ”I might want something from someone” I replied.  While this is true, I think also that as a shy person I may not only cripple my opportunities but become an ego centrist.  For instance, one trick in the book is how to escape talking to someone without hurting his feelings.  It often occurs to me to escape a person but almost never to care for his feelings in the same moment.  If I want to run away and he senses as much, all the better! I can run away more quickly.  But this is a selfish thing and not the Christian thing.

An instinctive response in me is to dodge others when I see them on surprise, a jarring experience.  Without thinking, I once even did this to my own sister, which confused her, and me, very much.

It is often good for me to remember that our omniscient, incarnate Lord had to sit in the synagogues and listen to men preach on The Word (i.e. him).  Truly, Our Lord is the font of all grace.  He not only suffered their insights but loved them at the same time.  Though it is anxiety, not dumbness, from which I flee I should learn to suffer graciously and look after the other person a little.

“Connect” is a quick read of 96 tricks for respectfully winning people over.  Trick #8, for example, is to press a person’s pulse point with the forefinger when shaking hands.  We all tried this out at work and everyone liked it very much, excepting “Kath” who wouldn’t come near me.*  I’ve tried some tricks with patrons such as solidifying eye contact by examining characteristics of their eyes.  One trick that escaped me was what is called “Searching Eyes” which is to look at someone as though you are perplexed or searching for something and then quickly you give a slight “a-ha” with your eyes and smile as though you found what you sought and like it.  The author, Leil Lowndes, says a cruise ship captain did this with her; she says it created a moment of tension in her and then relief, as though she had been scrutinized and approved.  This trick was difficult to picture and difficult to imagine pulling off.  Yet I unwittingly used it later on.

I had just finished working with a patron we all know and dislike, a condescending, tightly-wound little pill (she has a reputation at libraries all over town), and while checking out books to another lady I was staring into space with furrowed brow still thinking about how little I like the former.  But I then realized I was not staring into empty space but directly at a man, a quiet and regular patron, standing in line and looking very unsure of himself.  I gave a broad smile to atone and checked his books to him.  He walked towards the door but halted, turned back to me and asked, “You know, I’ve never caught your name.”  I told him my name, chatted about nothing for a bit, inspected his eye color and sent him off, liking me very much.

Smart Start Saturday (which I will reference in another post) brought a mad little mini-fair’s worth of attractions including the MSU Sailing Club where I took a sailing class two Septembers ago to pad my application for work on the Denis Sullivan.  I recognized my instructor whom Petey informed me knew everyone and everything about sailing in Michigan.  Though I would not normally consider chatting up a stranger (or near-stranger) it occurred to me he might be a good person to know and that I had 96 tricks now for connecting with people.  I threw him a “searching” look but I think I threw it to him for too long because by the time I gave my happy “a-ha” he already looked uncomfortable.  I said, “Oh, I know you! I took a sailing class from you.”  I went in to press his pulse point but was foiled by the thick elastic cuff of his jacket.  We chatted for a bit and he did say I should come by so they could see where my skill levels are now (which I’ve yet to do).  This was all taking a better turn but though I know, independently from “Connect”, that a woman should always break off an encounter first, his dinghies blew down and he had to leave me standing there with a lady cop and a shire horse.  I am planning to take a class again this summer.  I hope I will have several opportunities to make him uncomfortable later.

~~~

*”Let me press your pulse point.” I asked and she expressed disgust.  She said I could touch “the cyst that’s on [her] wrist”.  She has a small cyst on her wrist and had been singing her version of a Hall & Oates song:

Because the cyst, the cyst is on my wrist/Because the cyst, the cyst you can’t resist

I expressed disgust and told her her’s was the cyst I could resist.

Leave a Comment

Such a Smart Start

June 13, 2011 at 10:23 pm (Library Shout Out, Library Subculture)
Tags: , , ,

Peter the Raspberry‘s shining moment every year is our Smart Start Saturday, a bit of a children’s Mardi Gras befor the summer reading program.  Admittedly, I know little about it such as why it’s held so long before Summer Reading.  What I do know to remember are two things; it will be a madhouse and it is very important for Peter the Raspberry.

This year’s invited were police horses, firemen and cops (as usual), two Stormtroopers and Boba Fet, a dog who is a therapist, the MSU Sailing Club (which I will reference in another post), Impression 5 Museum and the MSU Science Theatre.  Petey dressed at Phileas Fogg – the theme for Summer Reading this year being “One World, Many Stories”, thus the “Around the World in 80 Days” reference.  Impression 5 presented many foci in the study of what they call “grossology” including one table at which children were fed dye tablets and, to shame them, given mirrors, revealing the colored filth on ther teeth.  The little petri dishes were then handed toothbrushes with which to take themselves from polite society and scrub themselves clean.

We staff were encouraged to wear our “Geek the Library” shirts.  This is a national campaign, funded by Mr. William Gates, to promote public library use and support.  The idea is that anything you have an interest in you can find resources for at your library; in other words, it is an extremely abbreviated form of this blog.  The slogans “Geek the Library” or “What do you geek?” or pictures of models or locals (including our Mayor, Virg Benero) with the caption “I geek ____” is an example of “verbing” (which is itself an example of verbing), i.e. the bad grammar fad of taking a noun and making it a verb.  Petey refuses to take part in it on principle; he objects to pandering attempts to make library science cool, which it will never be and shouldn’t try (in his opinion).  I personally was not sure I wanted to take presents from Bill Gates but I liked the tee-shirt so I did.  Mr. Gates’ thought is that people will ask us what we “geek” and this will start conversations about libraries.  I think I will geek like good grammar.  “Kath” said that I should say I “geek” the pope, which I do.  I said she should “geek” personal space.

Petey’s day was a big success, as always.  It gets crazy busy but I don’t mind, mostly because there are snacks and I get to see things like this:

The Summer Reading Program has now begun.  Scrub your children’s teeth and you may bring them in to sign them up.  Our under-parented children from the subsidized housing across the street will fill out their reading logs claiming to have read for 18 hours in the last 9 — overnight — but for more scrupulous and/or less clever youth, like bunnies before a cheap, plastic carrot, they can be bribed to read with prizes such as mood pencils: red means they are surly, green means they are malnourished, chartreuse means they are contagious, yellow means they are scared mommy and daddy are getting a divorce, all colours mean they are to be seen and not heard.

1 Comment

Memorial Day Mud

June 2, 2011 at 1:01 am (Me Outdoors)
Tags: , , ,

You may have noticed we were closed for the holiday weekend.  Were you one of the Friday Night Patrons of Panic pulling baskets-full of DVDs, stocking up for an extended weekend of suffering your family’s presence or to watch at your cabin up north with the windows closed and the air conditioning on?  Or did you not know we were closed and came on Saturday or Sunday, knocking on the doors?  Did you see me peering out of the darkness waiting for you to leave so I could sneak out and grab the book drop without talking to you?  That is what I did Saturday and Sunday, laughed at you from behind the blinds, but Memorial Day I had to work not at all.

Actually, I spent the morning cleaning my chiropractor’s house.  But when I finished I went to the lake.  If you are local, you know we had had two weeks of thunderstorms and flooding punctuated by a downpour and tornado warning the night before.  Thus, the Lake (which is fake) in Lansing (which was swampland) has no beach but a very nice lawn — a very nice lawn which was a squishy mud patch by Memorial Day.  I thought I was seeing some of the ugliest leg and ankle tattoos on the parkies but it was mud splatter.  Here I am with my own splotches:

Then I remembered it was Memorial Day and that I had wanted to go to a parade or service or something to honor all those in the military who sacrificed for our country but I had instead been cleaning and at the lake and forgot all about it. I felt bad.  So I posted a patriotic picture on my Facebook profile and figured that should about cover it.  I then remembered it was also my patron saint’s feast day, St. Joan of Arc, and I had completely forgotten to begin a novena to her or get to Mass.  The day was a bit of a bust.  Realizing how providential it was that the feast day for a patron saint of soldiers fell on Memorial Day, I went to the Oratory and asked her to pray for our military.  That should about cover it.

Leave a Comment

My Sing on Palm Sunday

April 16, 2011 at 12:35 pm (Singing)
Tags: , , ,

I am currently singing a season in the Lange Ensemble, directed by Dr. Stephen Lange and based in Lansing.  We are giving a concert “Music for Holy Week”  this Sunday, Palm Sunday, at 7:00 p.m.  It will be held at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 218 W. Ottawa, Lansing, MI.  We will sing settings for texts such as O vos omnes, Christus factus est, and Salvator mundi.  We will also be singing Mozart’s famous Lacrymosa (in the video below) which you will remember from the movie “The Big Lebowski”.

We are also singing works by Bach, Casals, Rachmaninoff, a bear of a two-choir piece by Monteverdi that I may not survive (that is one insane tessitura, Mr. Monteverdi!), and happily, two pieces from Durufle’s Requiem (including the In paradisum below), one of the most beautiful Mass settings I have ever heard.  Four soloists will sing spirituals but I’m not singing those so I haven’t paid much attention.  You might like them.

Tickets are available at the door and are $10 unless you are very old or very young… then they are $8 (for seniors and students).

Leave a Comment

The Day My Zipper Failed Me

April 14, 2011 at 9:19 pm (Too Fat)
Tags: , ,

I was searching in the stacks for a patron request in the non-fiction DVDs, the 920′s, when I felt a sudden ballooning and release of pressure.  I looked down to see the zipper that once held my skirt together had split open.  After fiddling with it for a few seconds, I covered my left thigh with the papers I was holding and walked into our back employee area.  ”I’m going home now” I announced.  Oddly, I had thought just earlier, “What a fine purchase this skirt was.  It has served me well.”  It just couldn’t take all the pressure.  I went home to change into what I call “sport pants” and went for a jog.

It is my plan to lose fifteen pounds by the end of June.  They will not notice and will not care but I will be seeing people then that I do not see but every couple of years and when I see people after a long time I never want them to think, “Well, that was two years poorly spent.”  On the surface, two and a half months seems a doable amount of time in which to lose fifteen but then I haven’t been able to lose fifteen in five years.

Searching through my past checkouts (which you can do after signing into your account and looking under “Account Activity”) I saw every workout DVD I’ve taken home in the last two years.  Most of them I never got out of the box.  The Butchers Bill of fallen ventures is as follows:

Bollywood Dance Workout

I have no idea what is on this.

*

Dirty Dancing Official Dance Workout

I have been billed for this one, I’ve had it out so long.  I’m still convinced I’m going to use it.  It advertises, “No partner required”.  Actually, I find that a little depressing.

The New Ballet Workout

This one was terrible.  They just move through a routine with no repetition.  I was unwilling to take the time to learn it.

Belly Dance Vol. 4: Total Body Workout

I could not recommend this more highly.  The money spent on this production was so low that it was filmed in a gym and you can see people on stationary bikes just beyond the windows in the background.  Amira Mor might be a good dancer but she is more entertaining as an aerobics instructor.  When leading a chest circle move, she uses her hands to push her breasts up, left, down, right and announces in her thick accent, “Eeets okay to touch!”  She also says in the introduction that you can reverse the aging process by jiggling your skin.  Will do, Amira!  Will do.  The workout isn’t too bad either.

Argentine Tango: The Tango Milongero

It is not quite a workout video but my dance and weight loss ventures bleed into each other.  I’m not sure why I checked this out.  Sadly, I’ve never found a willing dance partner to learn Argentine Tango and that is why I took up belly dance to begin with.  I pathetically tried to follow a little of this DVD but without another person I just fall over.

Partner Dancing 101

Much the same sad story as above.

Dance off the Inches

Never came out of the box.

Budokon Weight Loss System

I have no recollection of checking this out.  Maybe I should get it again.  It comes with a “Self Empowerment” CD.

Yoga to the Rescue for Neck and Shoulders

Not quite for weight loss but this is fabulous.  Doing even a few of the moves helps me immensely.  There is always a waiting list to get it.

Zumba: Ditch the Workout, Join the Party: The Zumba Weight Loss Program

This is a book with a DVD.  I have checked it out three or four times and have never so much as cracked the spine.  I don’t even know what is on the DVD.  But I do love Zumba.

Jillian Michaels for Beginners.  Frontside and Backside

These are really good: the exercises are effective and not unaccessible.  I wrote the routines down so I would have them after I returned the DVDs.  I guess I should do them now.

Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease

I checked this out from morbid curiosity.  I don’t know that dressing as a librarian, breathing on my glasses and cleaning them on my hip will provide the calorie burn I’m looking for.

Carmen Electra’s Advanced Aerobic Striptease

 For those women who have mastered cleaning her glasses on her a**.  (I don’t think I watched this sequel.)

2 Comments

“For the lads, Jesus. For the lads.”

March 31, 2011 at 12:32 am (My Jesus Life, Uncategorized)
Tags: , , , , ,

I have no plans to set aside anyone on The List but I saw that the most desperate cases on my intercessory bill were men.  And being inspired by the group e5men, an online community of menfolk who, following the scripture Ephesians 5 which instructs men to sacrifice themselves for their wives as Christ did for the Church, fast and pray for the women they know (or have known, in many senses).  I decided I would fast Fridays this Lent and offer the sacrifice for an expanded roster of fellows.  I’ve then been praying over The List at the Holy Spirit Oratory after work.  (Feel free to come and pray there with me.  I get there around 7:30, except for this Friday when I will be going early so Jesus won’t conflict with the Garnet Rogers & Archie Fisher Concert.)

I am very bad at fasting and even forget moment-by-moment that I am fasting and didn’t just forget my lunch.  Mostly I make excuses that there is no reason to do it.  Therefore, it helps when I feel those pangs to think, “It’s for the lads, Jesus, for the lads.”  I am not sure how many intercessions my sacrifices will cover because I don’t suffer terribly and perhaps my brief and slight hunger will be spread too thinly over so many desperadoes.  So I resolve now to wear my three-inch heels on Fridays as well and perhaps sit on an uncomfortable chair.

I tell you this because I would like to encourage you to email me with any prayer requests to be put forth by me on these holy days (or write them in the “comments”).  I ask this out of gratitude for my readership — all 70 of you — also because I like to tell people, “I’ve written you in, right next to Mel Gibson.”  My email is below.

mejkressler@gmail.com

Leave a Comment

The Hafla and a Resolution to My Bad Temper

March 15, 2011 at 11:14 pm (Belly Dancin')
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

At this hafla I got to see a sword dance for the first time.  Masika balanced it on her hip and her head (her music was from this CD).  There is a class for this offered this summer – in fact, there is sword dance taught in this DVD — but we must B.W.O.Sword, which I do not have.  I believe I just might have a talent for balancing things on myself though.

(Unfortunately, this was uploaded sideways.  It was not done by me.)

I received a bit of interesting news at the hafla about the subject of my bellicose outburst in our last class.  The young man, who, as it seems is not a poorly-raised nineteen year old as I assumed but is actually thirty-four years of age, has been dismissed.  There is a security camera just outside the classroom and whatever it was he claimed about me was not corroborated by film and I guess whatever outrage I had was.  I hope this was a final straw in the saga of his employment there and not a lone incident because I do believe in second chances.  Yet I’m not sorry the little punk is gone.

Below is a photo of my friend’s baby who had such a blast last time.  I tried to put a coin belt on her but she wanted nothing to do with it.  Below that is Neekee’s daughter.  One foot of hers was crippled from gymnastics and one hand was crippled by drying henna paint.  I helped her scoop salsa onto her chips.

 

2 Comments

Hafla for March 2011

March 10, 2011 at 11:28 pm (Belly Dancin')
Tags: , , , ,

Come to the next Habibi Dancers Hafla!  It is this Saturday, March 12th at 5 o’clock at the Hannah Center.  Oklahoma Neekee will be there and myself and my friend Kins and her baby girl.  A 5 dollar donation can be paid at the door.

Here are my posts on the last Hafla complete with what videos I could get.

Hope to see you there!

Leave a Comment

« Older entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.